It’s that time of year again, when the global masses visit our fair city to binge on culture from various parts of the spectrum. From the incredible to the downright questionable, the cheap ticketing to the “£15 for that?!” and everything in between.
Legend has it that the city’s inhabitants migrate for the majority of August, or else hibernate, only daring to surface in the morning, that one hour in the afternoon, or when the Heavens open to cleanse the streets of their sins (read: flyers). Anything to avoid the plague that is the city centre. There is, however, one pastime that only locals know of. You would do well to listen, for August is in fact Tourist Hunting Season.
It’s not quite on the same scale as, say, that one time in Canberra, Austraila, or a gay pride in the Southern most part of America. But there does seem to be a very peculiar consensus among our global visitors that, since the streets are smaller, the cars fewer than most cities (though we do our bit to kill the atmosphere just as well as the next country), every bit of tarmac is fair game.
I once witnessed a tourist walk into the middle of a road in full green light flow, shout at cars that dared to continue using the road as it was intended. He then tried to stare down a double decker bus. Guess how that one ended. I’ve seen pedestrians berate these visitors in passing, cars bump their knees, and once, a car put on the brakes only to have a thoroughly pished man roll over the bonnet. The difference is that he apologised to the driver and kept walking.
I guess what I’m trying to say is: global visitors, every August, you become the city’s sport. Seasoned or new, you all somehow manage to bring out the serial killer within us. Whether it’s your entire party stopping in the middle of the pavement allowing no one to pass, aggravating drivers with your inability to just wait for the light to cross, or walking at the speed slower than that of a snail on sand, only to abruptly stop and cause a chain reaction stronger than even Max Bodenstein could have envisaged, you bring a catharsis. A release that makes the brave remaining city dwellers feel just a little happier in all the chaos.
And long may it continue.
All that aside, I have loved the Festival ever since seeing my first show there many, many years ago. Many friends would avoid the capital, while myself and Laidig Snr would dive right in, to the point where we would still have shows to see as the first week of school began.
Excuse the excessive words, but I just want to end by issuing a big thank you to my readers and visitors, an entire year on from my previous thanks. My life’s intention has never been about seeking popularity, but to simply connect with people. Yet in the last fortnight, two huge milestones have been reached:
Over 50 readers, and 3000+ site visits!
I am a very happy Laidig. For those who don’t know, I started this blog at the end of 2012 and, honestly, my posting was shoddy at best. End of July 2013, I was sitting at a meagre 238 visits and less than a handful (although wonderful) of readers. After setting monthly goals, I managed to triple the visits and had 10 readers by the end of the year.
While I started in 2012, August 2013 was the true beginning, and I am thrilled to have achieved what otherwise could not have happened without you all. Thank you so, so much.